[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to Shining Inspiring Voices of Autism.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: With show host Jennifer Dantzler.
[00:00:06] Speaker A: My name is Emily and I have autism.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: Thank you for taking the time to.
[00:00:10] Speaker A: Learn more about the world of autism. If you enjoy what you hear today.
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Don'T forget to follow this podcast.
[00:00:16] Speaker A: Hey, everyone, this is Jennifer Dantzler and I'm the executive director and founder of Inspire nd, a nonprofit whose mission is to create truly inclusive communities through education and engagement. The goal of this podcast is to shine a light on real people and their stories in hopes of inspiring who are on this journey of autism, either themselves, their child, their loved one, their co worker. I truly believe ignorance is not bliss and we cannot be inclusive communities if we do not understand the people in the community.
With autism now affecting 1 in 31 people, we need to get louder about this topic. We recognize that autism is a spectrum. There are a lot of people with a lot of different needs, a lot of resources available or none available. And we know that in every episode we can't meet everyone's needs for their specific interest.
However, we hope that in each episode you do gleam some kind of insight as to how you can help your child or yourself be a better advocate. And as we go through our podcasts, our goal really is to address the entire spectrum, the various needs, the various environments that we're going to be in. And we hope that there's something in every episode for each one of you. So let's get started.
Today we have a very special guest, my friend, Jake. Jake is a 21 year old self advocate who I've known for about 20 years because he was actually in early intervention in one of my programs years ago. And Jake has gone on to do amazing things. So Jake has graciously agreed to come on the show today and give a little insight and share a little bit about himself and just to kind of again, continue to help our listeners learn more about autism, what it is, what it is not, and really, most importantly, how we as a community can come together to be truly inclusive and supportive. So, Jake, thank you so much for being here.
[00:01:58] Speaker C: You're welcome. You're welcome.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Tell me a little bit, what is your official diagnosis?
[00:02:03] Speaker C: High on the spectrum of autism? I have high functioning autism.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: Okay, so you're still a little younger. You were never diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, which was the former high functioning autism, right?
[00:02:15] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I thought they were very much interconnected. I thought they were pretty much the same thing.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: So they are. Technically, you know, years ago, took away the term Asperger's and now call it high functioning autism. So some people who have Asperger's will say they have Asperger's and some will say it's high functioning autism. But yes, they are interchangeable.
[00:02:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, so we'll take that as a yes.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: Yes, that sounds good. And actually, after I talk with you, I'm gonna sit down and talk with your mom and dad a little bit. Right?
[00:02:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Because there were a couple questions I originally had for you that you said. Well, I'm not sure. I don't remember that because I was young. So in other words, Jennifer, why are you asking me that silly question?
[00:02:52] Speaker C: Right.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: As far back as you can remember. Let's talk a little bit about elementary school and what elementary school looked like for you.
[00:03:00] Speaker C: I had a couple of teachers who were with me at the class. Well, technically one in a class, I went on a name drop her just for privacy's sake. But I also had a speech therapist that I go to pretty much every once in a while so I could be able to speak more fluently. It's been pretty helpful. So I'm very grateful for that.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: Wonderful. Yes, I could tell the speech path definitely helped you.
So you were in a typical classroom, like a paraprofessional support person.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: Within that classroom, normally it's just one other teachers. So there's the teacher that we all have and then there's one other teacher who's like monitoring me.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: Okay, so that's.
[00:03:43] Speaker C: Yeah, that's how it works. I am, of course, in a classroom with, you know, a bunch of other kids my age. Of course, sometimes I do get taken out, out of a class and go to another class with other students who are pretty much like me. Other students who have autism or like, you know, need the kind of support that I needed for elementary school.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: So you were in typical classrooms with some pullout for supports of classes that you needed more help with.
[00:04:09] Speaker C: That pretty much covers it.
[00:04:10] Speaker A: Do you remember at the time, what was the hardest class for you?
[00:04:14] Speaker C: Reading that I struggled with the most. And it's ironic considering that right now I know I'm jumping ahead. Right now I'm more of a writer, so.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Okay, yes, we are going to get to that.
[00:04:25] Speaker C: It's very ironic, that is.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: But that's also, I think, good motivation and hope for parents who are listening who maybe have children that something that might be hard now might end up becoming their career. Right.
[00:04:37] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: Okay, so we'll get to that in a little bit. Sounds good.
Okay then, as we fast forward to high school, what did high school look like for you?
[00:04:46] Speaker C: What got me through was accommodations. One of my aspects of me being in autism is that for one thing, I'm a very slow test taker. Like, some students are fine with an hour, but with me, I need more than an hour. So for accommodations, they take took the amount of time for a test and then multiplied that by one and a half, and that's how much time I have. So, for example, when I have a test, that's where we have to take it for an hour. I'm allowed to take it for an hour and a half.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:05:15] Speaker C: And plus, on top of that, they even had me test taken in another classroom where it was like completely quiet. So.
[00:05:24] Speaker A: Okay, distraction free or is distraction free?
[00:05:26] Speaker C: Yeah, very much distraction free.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Okay. So I think you bring up a really good point, Jake, because I know when we sit in the ARD meetings, which are the meetings every year, to go over what you're going to get. Accommodations are one of the things in the ard, but I think people tend to blow over those and don't take those so seriously. But it sounds like for you, the accommodations were really helpful to be successful.
[00:05:49] Speaker C: They absolutely were. Like, because I know that if I don't take accommodations, then, like, my anxiety would strike to a pretty high degree.
Getting prepared for a test is already anxiety inducing enough. But if you're having super high anxiety when you're about to take a test, like, that's like pretty bad news because that's going to make you forget everything. It's going to make you like, just rush through every question and you're not going to do well. But with accommodations, with the thought of, like, hey, you got more time to take it. Like, that absolutely helped calm my nerves down and I was able to do pretty good on the test.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: Wonderful. Were you able to verbalize and say, these are some of the things that I need, Some of these accommodations, or was that your parents and you talked about it at home or did your teachers recognize it? How did you decide what accommodations were needed?
[00:06:39] Speaker C: I think it was my parents that decided to decide to do that.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:44] Speaker C: Like, I think as far back as I can remember, I think that's how it was.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: Your parents were pretty involved and pretty supportive.
[00:06:51] Speaker C: They very much were and they still are now. Like, the accommodation is also transferred to college too.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Okay, well, then let's talk about that a little bit. What are you doing right now, Jake?
[00:07:02] Speaker C: I'm a student at Houston Christian University. I'm a film major, cinematic arts major.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: Okay, and when will you graduate?
[00:07:10] Speaker C: I'm actually graduating this spring.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: Wonderful. So let's talk about college. And you're starting to talk about the accommodations. So what are some of the accommodations that you get now at college?
[00:07:20] Speaker C: 1 and a half times the amount of time to take a test.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:25] Speaker C: And there's also a room on campus in the library where I could take the test. And it's like distraction free. So.
[00:07:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:32] Speaker C: So pretty much by the same beats.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: As high school, do you do anything where you get like the outline of the notes too, like supplemental material to what you listen to in lectures? Or do you. Is that all of you on your own?
[00:07:44] Speaker C: Not really. Not really. But my teachers, like, they of course have PowerPoints and like, you know, I. They actually do put them on the school's like, Platformer website. Yeah, Platformer website. When I was doing the liberal arts classes, which is what we call them, first of all, I'm completely done with them now, but when I was taking them, like, I always had a habit of getting my super head, like, taking the notes like, you know, like, really early before the classes. So.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: Okay. That is a great executive functioning skill to stay ahead of the game. You were taught well.
[00:08:19] Speaker C: Yeah, my hands were cramping afterwards.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: You had to do your hand exercises.
[00:08:24] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm going to get early arthritis by the time I'm finished with college.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: Don't worry, I don't have arthritis.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: That's good. That's good. So you live on campus?
[00:08:35] Speaker C: Yes, I do.
[00:08:36] Speaker A: You live in an apartment or with a roommate?
[00:08:38] Speaker C: I live on central residential area.
It's called hodo. So I live there. I have a room of my own and I share a suite with four other guys.
[00:08:48] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay.
[00:08:49] Speaker C: Basically how hotl works is that there's multiple kinds of suites that you could take. Like you could room with someone. You can have your own room and have a suite with a few other people. And they got like a little bit like, you know, kind of like a room plan for last year and for this year I've had the same plan where I have my own room and I. I have to share a bathroom with a few other people.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: So it's probably good though, because you have your own quiet time to recharge. But then it forces a little bit of socialization with other people sometimes, right?
[00:09:18] Speaker C: Yes, kind of.
[00:09:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:19] Speaker C: I will say, though, my roommates are much more lively than my past roommates. My past roommates were not bad by any means. They were just a little, little less social than the roommates I have now.
[00:09:32] Speaker A: Which do you prefer the more social or the less social?
[00:09:35] Speaker C: Kind of the more social, to be honest.
[00:09:37] Speaker A: Okay. All righty. So actually, that brings me up to my next question. When you meet people or talk to people, or in this case, live with people at college, do you tell them you have autism?
[00:09:47] Speaker C: I actually told one of my roommates that I have autism, and part of my autism is high anxiety. And as of right now, I more dependent on being around people than being by myself, because in case of unexpected medical emergency, it's always good to be around people, so they will help you. I shared that little secret with one of my roommates, and believe it or not, he also has autism and he also has adhd.
[00:10:14] Speaker A: Okay. Yes. They say that it's very common for a lot of people with autism to have both anxiety and adhd.
[00:10:20] Speaker C: I'm glad that one of my roommates and I have one thing in common.
[00:10:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Do you talk about things you find easier, hard in the world or anything?
[00:10:28] Speaker C: Yeah. And for my roommate, he kind of also fiddles around with things whenever we talk. That's just how he manages his adhd, which I do respect that because, like, I myself also, like, have trouble, like, paying attention, because so, like, sometimes I have to, like, physically do something to, like, you know, I'm a. So I can have my attention.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: Right. Which is a big misconception that there are people who think, oh, they're fidgeting. They're not paying attention. But actually, someone with ADD or ADHD or autism needs to fidget in order to focus their brain, right?
[00:11:02] Speaker C: Yes, pretty much.
[00:11:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:03] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just sitting still and trying to focus is a lot harder than anything for us Aspies and ADHD people.
[00:11:10] Speaker A: Okay. All righty. So tell me, why filmmaking? What do you want to do as a career? What's your ideal job?
[00:11:17] Speaker C: When I was a little kid, I watched movies A lot. In fact, during my life, I love talking about films, but filmmaking never got in my mind. As for a career, like, during high school especially, I was struggling with what to do. Like, what do I want to do with my life? I got it. I got to get to that before I get to college. So I tried engineering.
It's too technical for me. I tried coding. That is way too complicated. You're basically just writing gibberish on a computer.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: You really are.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: I tried accounting. Accounting is easy, but it's just too easy. It's kind of boring. Boring.
[00:11:50] Speaker A: I don't know that everyone would agree with you. So that's great. That means you have a great skill.
[00:11:53] Speaker C: Yeah. And for Senior year, I was like, why me? You love talking about movies and you love watching movies. Try filmmaking. And I tried that. And that's where, like, this is what I want to do.
[00:12:03] Speaker A: It clicked. It was your mo. It was your thing, your inspiration.
[00:12:06] Speaker C: Yeah, at first I wanted to be a editor because, like, during high school, I had a YouTube channel. And, like, I was like, you know, I just want to. Want to edit and like, you know, like, have a channel, have, like, millions of subscribers.
But then, like, I tried writing and I was like, I love this much more than editing.
[00:12:27] Speaker A: Okay, so what type of writing? What type of genres do you like?
[00:12:31] Speaker C: So screenwriting.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: Screenwriting. So dramas, Comedies.
[00:12:36] Speaker C: I do a lot of psychological dramas now, like, but I also explore different genres into how it plays out. Like, I love going to the psychology of the characters that I create. I've written four screenplays so far, and they're all in different genres. Like, I wrote a musical drama. I wrote a courtroom thriller. I wrote a romance drama. I wrote a fantasy epic, which, believe it or not, is my version of Mario Brothers.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
[00:13:03] Speaker C: Yeah, more PG13, actually.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: Okay. Alrighty. Yep.
[00:13:08] Speaker C: And right now I'm working on a survival thriller.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: Wow, Jake. Okay, so if we have any producers listening, you can reach out to infoinspirend.org and I can get you in touch with Jake and you can help him become famous.
[00:13:23] Speaker C: Yep. And I'm also want to explore science fiction. I want to explore horror or kind of like spy and all that. Like, I want to explore, like, a variety of genres. I really want to. I not repeat myself.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: Wow, you really? Yeah. So you don't want to get pigeonholed into one type casting or type genre.
[00:13:40] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, I know that there are definitely white filmmakers out there that, like, you know, they make kind of like one kind of film, and they're all amazing, but also, like, I just like to vary myself and I show like, you know, I. I can also be pretty much like a chameleon, which I'm going.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: To say is surprising. And I'm excited to hear that because one of the traits of autism can be kind of sticking to one thing, getting very rote and predictable. So you really are trying to expand and keep your options open.
[00:14:09] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: And that's awesome. Well, I'm so excited to see what happens next for you because you graduate in May and then you're going to. Do you think you're going to go back to, like, school for your master's or try to get a job?
[00:14:20] Speaker C: I'm looking for jobs that are based in Texas. Because Texas has always felt like home to me. Like, especially Keenwood in Houston.
[00:14:27] Speaker D: Like.
[00:14:28] Speaker C: Yeah, I miss Keenwood very much. My parents and I, we moved to Livingston. It was kind of like a retirement home for my mom and dad. But I miss Keenewood very much. I miss my friends and everything.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: Are you still in touch with friends from high school?
[00:14:41] Speaker C: Oh, yes. Yes, I am.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:14:43] Speaker C: Yeah. I have a lot of amazing friends.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: That is great, because that's also not always so common. Right.
[00:14:49] Speaker C: My job, as of right now is to find a job.
Yeah. That's what I'm planning. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm not planning on getting a master's. I think a bachelor's is good enough.
The job is for getting money and also any experience.
And then sooner rather than later, I'm gonna start filmmaking because besides being a writer, I also want to be a film director.
[00:15:11] Speaker A: Okay. My goodness gracious. I love the aspirations. I love it. It's a hard field, right?
A lot of people out there trying to do.
[00:15:19] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Filmmaking as a rhino is pretty competitive.
[00:15:23] Speaker A: So you're gonna have to be okay with rejection, right? A little bit, yes.
[00:15:27] Speaker C: Yeah. But I'm gonna be an independent filmmaker, so.
[00:15:30] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:15:32] Speaker C: Yeah, I. I'm not focused on getting to Hollywood. Plus, as of right now, I think Hollywood's just, like, way down in the garbage bin in terms of the movies is creating now. Like, just a lot of sequels and reboots and remakes and all that, but.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Not a lot of novels.
[00:15:47] Speaker C: Independent filmmakers, I mean, they're. They're cooking real good. Right. They're making a lot of great stuff.
Believe it or not, my film professor is also an independent filmmaker. In fact, he has created a feature film and is, like. As I'm recording this, he's getting it distributed.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:16:03] Speaker C: He's in the process of getting it distributed by Angel Studios.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: Oh, very exciting. Very exciting. Holy cow.
So when you go on these job interviews, will you self disclose that you have autism?
[00:16:15] Speaker C: I think it's necessary to.
[00:16:18] Speaker A: Why?
[00:16:18] Speaker C: People with autism, they do of course, behave pretty differently from people who are. Who don't have any disabilities. So, like, you know, I think. I think, like, you know, letting them know my autism, like, even if it doesn't create that much of an impact, I mean, it won't really.
It wouldn't really, you know, hurt to admit because. Because as I said before, one of my aspects of being an. Being a person with autism is that I have a lot of anxiety.
So, like, you know, like, letting them know Like, I'm a person with autism. I also have high anxiety. Like, it also helps them, like, you know, understand me more and.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: Okay, so one of the other things, Jake, that's out there is there's a lot of kind of controversy about whether autism is like, a disability or a superpower. What are your thoughts? Because you just mentioned it as a disability. What are your thoughts? How has autism been hard for you, and how has it made you a better person?
[00:17:11] Speaker C: As I mentioned, like, I'm a person with high anxiety. So, I mean, that's just one thing that I've been. That I've been living with. And I. I'm still battling to this day, but I have been getting good at it.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Like, you're sitting here right now, aren't you?
[00:17:27] Speaker C: Even if it comes back, I always, like, just fight it off the best I can. Plus, like, I'm very grateful for my parents. Like, they've always been there for me. They. And plus, I've been getting very close to God and the Holy Spirit. I've been reading the Bible every single day, like, praying every night. Praying every time I eat.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: Okay, wonderful. Well, I was going to ask you, what are some of the things you found to be successful to help reduce your anxiety? And it sounds like two of them are your parents and your faith.
[00:17:55] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: Is there anything else that has helped you to work through some of your anxieties?
[00:17:59] Speaker C: I do like to listen to music.
[00:18:02] Speaker A: What kind of music do you like to listen to?
[00:18:03] Speaker C: I listen to classical and jazz.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:06] Speaker C: By the way, in case you're wondering, I may be living in Texas. Texas. But I don't like country music.
[00:18:12] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:18:12] Speaker C: It's corny, in my opinion. It's corny. I'm sorry.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: I'm sorry. To our Texas listeners.
[00:18:18] Speaker C: Yeah. But also, like, I just love dynamic music. Why music that, like, you know, has a lot of dynamics to it. That's just one of the things. Why I don't like listening to hip hop or countries because I view them as static music. Like, okay, they got, like, one volume, one tone right throughout. And I like. Come on. I want some variety here.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: Okay. Now, the plays you're writing, will they be plays or musicals?
[00:18:44] Speaker C: They're actually movies.
[00:18:46] Speaker A: Oh, movies. That's right. That's right. Okay.
[00:18:48] Speaker C: Screenplays are basically just movies in writing form.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: Okay. Okay, wonderful.
[00:18:55] Speaker C: Talking about, like, a script to a play or talking about a playwright, it.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: Seems like nowadays there are a lot of plays that become movies or movies that become plays.
What is something you want the world to know about people with Autism.
[00:19:09] Speaker C: I do want to speak to people who have autism that are listening to us right now.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Like, don't be afraid to tell people about your autism. Like, for me, as an artist especially, I know that not everyone is an artist. Well, actually, technically, we are, because we're out there. We're making stuff. Like, it doesn't matter what profession you're in, you're making stuff that's pretty much what an artist is. But nonetheless, like, vulnerability, like, some people think being vulnerable is negative. It's actually positive. Like, you tell people, like, kind of like, your hidden secrets, including your disabilities. Like, they're gonna. You open up to that. Like, they're. They'll help you. Like, they will. You know, they'll help you. They'll support you. Like, so don't be afraid to, you know, open yourself more out there. Autism, I can also be a. More of a blessing that occurs as well.
There are some people with autism who can do, like, insane stuff.
For example, my. My mom told me that she knew this person whose son, I think, when he was 2, like, he was blind and, like, very, very much autistic, but he could play the piano like a professional. Like, he's like, God, dude, tear at the piano.
Yeah.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: Yes. And there are definitely some people that are extremely talented. And so, yes, there. It can also be a gift. Right? So it can be. It sounds like it can be a little bit of both, Right? It can be a little bit of a hindrance or what some might call a disability, but it can also be a gift also.
[00:20:44] Speaker C: The hindrance can also be a blessing in disguise when you reach out to other people, it's like an opportunity for people to include you, to help you.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: My last question for you is, what's one piece of advice you would give if there's a parent listening right now who just had their child first diagnosed?
What's one piece of advice you would give to those parents?
[00:21:07] Speaker C: I don't want you to stress out too much. Okay. It may sound like a disability, and in a way, autism kind of is, but it's really not that bad. And plus, even so, there are people out there, like Ms. Jennifer, for example, who will help you. Why? Why? They could give your child, like, a lot of opportunities, some a lot of chances that can help them later on down the road. And I'm very grateful for Ms. Jennifer to help. For one thing, she's also, like, kind of like a family friend, but she's the one who got me to am like, you know, to have those teachers.
[00:21:41] Speaker A: And all that, like all your early intervention, Right? Yeah.
[00:21:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm very grateful for that. So, you know, so parents out there, don't, don't worry too much about your child when they have autism, but reach.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: Out and get the help and support you need for you and for them, right?
[00:21:56] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:21:57] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:21:57] Speaker C: But it isn't the end of the world.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: There you go. Great way to end. Jake, I'm so appreciative that you're here. I know you drove down from Livingston, but you're also home from college right now. So I appreciate you taking the time to be here and share with our listeners.
[00:22:10] Speaker C: Yeah. God also made you special. Remember that.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: Amen. Thank you, Jake. Amen and amen.
And now we're following up our wonderful interview with Jake with his parents, Corinne and Joe. Thank you guys for being here.
[00:22:25] Speaker D: Yeah, thank you for having us.
[00:22:27] Speaker A: So this is kind of spur of the moment. I was only going to interview Jake. For those of you who don't understand podcasts, you do usually send questions ahead of time so people know what they're being asked. But some of the questions Jake couldn't answer because he's 21 now, and to ask him about when he was 3 is hard for people to recall. So I asked spur the moment. This is not staged or planned. I asked Corinne and Joe if they'd be willing to step in and just answer a few of the questions that can help our listeners understand a little bit more about where Jake was to where he is now. Because I think for a lot of our new parents, the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty. And so I think the more our listeners can listen to our self advocates, where they've come from, struggles they've had, victories they've had. I think the more insight, and that's the goal of this podcast. Let's go back with you two. Either Corinne or Joe. You can take it. What age was Jake diagnosed?
[00:23:14] Speaker B: He was three.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: And what were you seeing that caused the need to go get an evaluation?
[00:23:19] Speaker B: I would say probably around six months was when I really noticed that I felt something was off. Now he and his sister are only 18 months apart. Lexi is 18 months older.
So I had just gone through this, but there were too many differences between the two of them developmentally and just behavior wise, just that maternal instinct in me. I just knew something wasn't right.
Whenever I would bring it up, I would get excuses from the doctors or anybody else. Well, he's just a boy.
Boys develop later. He's strong willed and I'm like, no, that is not sitting right with me. A six month old cannot decide. I don't want to learn to sit up. Like, that didn't make sense.
It was just gnawing at me all the time that something just is not right here.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: What about you, dad?
[00:24:17] Speaker D: It was really Corinne that noticed that, because I was kind of like what she was saying about the other parents and the doctors are saying is that, you know, he's a boy, he's going to take a little longer to get there. What I was seeing, I wasn't real concerned about.
She had spent a lot more time at home with the kids early on.
She had already read all the books about parenting and becoming a parent. And so they had gone over several of these milestones in those books. I had not read those books.
It finally got to the point where she said it enough that I started thinking, at least, if nothing else, to give her peace of mind, we need to find somebody to do whatever tests are going to be necessary to determine that there's something there that I'm certainly not seeing, but that she does see well.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: And I think you bring up a great point because many times parents struggle or maybe disagree, and that point of great, well, let's just prove me wrong and let's just rule it out. You know, best case scenario, you spend a copay on getting an evaluation. Probably back at the time it was actually even probably private. Pay and get an evaluation if there's nothing there. Wonderful. But time is not our friend in the world of autism. And the earlier the intervention, the better.
[00:25:31] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:25:32] Speaker A: So talk to me about what you recall. So he was first diagnosed.
What'd you do? What'd you feel?
[00:25:38] Speaker B: I felt relief, actually. When we first got the diagnosis, I started crying immediately. But not sadness. It was more like relief. Like, oh, praise God, we finally have an answer. You know, somebody seeing what I see, if you can name it, then you can deal with was all the unknown that was just driving me crazy.
That's what happened with me.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: What about you, Joe?
[00:26:02] Speaker D: For me, it was more concerned about my wife because she started crying.
Because I remember the day that we went. It was a school district, I think, right.
That had. Because it was required by Texas law that you had to do it this way.
It was like two or three ladies in the school district that took them to her room for a while and they came back out and they told us, and we got back in the car and that's when Corinne started crying. And at first I thought it was because, oh, okay. She. We now have A child that's been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Is that why she's crying? But she nearly told me the same thing that she just said that. No, it's relief that we know what it is now, that there was something there. She was right. Now we know what we can do about it. And of course, that's about the same time that she met you, and that had a lot to do with it. I think you were the one that actually pointed us in the direction of having him evaluated by the school.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: Right, right. Well, again, to that point, time is just not our friend. And the earlier the intervention, the better. And then that's when. But pretty quickly after that, Jake started getting some early intervention and got through some struggles. We did some pretty classic early intervention, working on some behavior, and Jake actually talked about communication and how important communication is, and that the more he learned how to communicate, the easier it was to navigate the world around him. But then was able to go to public school pretty quickly. And one of the things that I do want us to talk about because I think you were so incredible at this, is you were huge advocates for him while in the school, and you didn't take no for an answer, and you said, we need to do this. Why aren't we doing this? So can you talk a little bit about that journey?
[00:27:50] Speaker B: When we did get the diagnosis, it was actually Kim Brucetori, who was the founder of Village Learning Achievement Center. You and her were friends, and she was the first one that I talked to, and she said, you need to go get him tested.
And so we took him. She said, take him to the school district.
You won't have to pay anything. They'll do it for free. And so that's when we got the diagnosis. I called her, and she said, you now need to talk to Jennifer, and.
[00:28:19] Speaker A: Within the next hour, be in my office.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: Yes, basically, that was it. And so I'll never forget walking into that room, both of you, and there were probably four other people in that room, and you just, like, all unloaded. And I thought, oh, my gosh, I am on overload here of information. But what we did is we came up with a plan, and you guys helped both of us come up with a very strategic plan as to how we can help Jake going forward.
He started at the school district. We quickly, within six months, said, no, he needs to go to including kids. And that's where he went with you and did one year at including kids being before he started kindergarten. Well, it was during that time that I really learned or both of Us really learned a lot about advocacy and what we could and could not do, but we were going to have to fight for it. We really prayed about it, Jennifer, because you encouraged us. You gave us two paths. You said, you can go down the public school path. You will need to fight for everything that you he needs, or you could go the private school route, and you could go to this private school where including kids already has a relationship, and we'll be there and we can do everything that we need to for him, and that path is already there for you. And we prayed about it. And I will never forget, the Lord made it very clear to me that he had given us everything that we needed to plow that road. And he made it very clear to us that there were many parents out there that would benefit from the work that we would do by plowing that road.
Yeah, I get all clumped talking about it.
And he gave us a choice.
You can do either one. I'm not telling you what you have to do.
[00:30:18] Speaker C: You.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: It's your choice. You can either go the easy route and I'll be with you, or you could take this harder road and I will be with you there. But you will help so many other people. I'll never forget going to Joe about that and saying, we have connections at Humble isd. I have connections through work. I have connections with all these nonprofits that will help us and we can help so many more people.
And I really think that this is the way we should go.
And he agreed with me.
That's what we did. And so we started guns a blazing right off the bat. Thank God for Dr. Guy Sconzo, who was the superintendent at the time.
He met with us.
We got all the people in the room together and they said, we will do everything that we can. And that is exactly what happened from kindergarten on.
We got an advocate in that room, in that kindergarten room.
That woman actually ended up being. Well, she had to be hired by the school district, but she ended up staying for years afterwards and doing the exact same thing, helping all these other children.
And including kids came in and provided training for her. And for. I mean, it was just a beautiful partnership.
And so many other children were helped by Jake being there and by what you guys provided. And I'm guessing to this day they still are. I certainly hope so.
[00:31:46] Speaker A: Yes, I would say that that elementary school is by far probably the most highly preferred and produced the most successful outcomes that they can possibly produce. And I remember going to the middle school transition arts, you know, where. But you. I Think the thing is you never let up. And it was absolutely. I'm sure you got tired at points.
[00:32:06] Speaker B: There were. There were times we didn't get to choose who we were working with at Humble isd. There were a few choices that we had. But as you go through, the principal is who the principal is. Right. And the special ed teacher is whoever the special ed teacher is. And so there were those that were so open and really grateful for the advocacy that we were providing and the support that you were providing, including kids was providing. But there were those that were resistant. There were those that you could tell by the look on their faces, like, oh, this is one of those parents.
And we tried to be as. As kind and inclusive with them and. And lay it out. And Jennifer, you and your team did such a good job as well of saying, we are here to support you. We are not here to take over from you. We're not here to tell anybody that you're not doing a good job. We are here to support what you are already doing. And that's what we came in with as well. We want to not only advocate for Jake, we want to help all these other students as well all these other kids and parents too.
And so we really tried to come in with a humble attitude and with kindness and not guns a blazing. Here we are. Listen. You have to listen to us. I feel like we were able to win over many of those that you could tell their guard was up from that very first art. And by the end of the year. It was sooner than that. It wasn't just by the end of the year. You could see we had now built relationships and they knew that we weren't here to attack them or to put their jobs in any kind of detrimental situations. And so we were able to do that over time and really felt like that put us in a good place.
[00:33:57] Speaker A: Well, and I think that's so important because I think in therapies in general, and then you put therapy versus school. It's. And not. Or. And I think too much. Too many times in life people have to think it's or. Right. But it's. And it's collaboration. Joe, do you have anything to add to that? What are your thoughts are.
[00:34:13] Speaker D: I remember seeing some of the faces and my first thought was, let's not start there. Sometimes you can't say these things out loud because it just puts people on the defense. But it's like, okay, this is not where we want to start. We want to start with the collaboration. We understand that you've had Training too, but their training sometimes is a broader and therefore shallower training in a lot of topics, as opposed to this one topic of autism.
I'm not sure if I'm right in saying this, but it seemed like when Jake was in school at that age, this was still relatively new, a new approach to this, of getting help for people that were on the spectrum.
So we were kind of working this, fleshing it out as we went along, and I think when they came in, they hadn't experienced it either. So as we flesh it out, like Corinne said, over a short period of time, it started to be more of a collaboration instead of a competition as to whose way is better. It's like, okay, every way needs to be tried and looked at and evaluated because not one way is going to work for every kid.
[00:35:28] Speaker A: Right? Absolutely.
[00:35:30] Speaker D: So that's what I remember seeing. And we just really had a great experience with this in the school system with, with Jake.
[00:35:37] Speaker A: Jake is proof in the pudding that Jake is, has done incredibly well. Jake is at college, going to be a filmmaker, and we're going to try to get him a producer from this podcast. Over the journey of his life. So thus far, in his 21 years, what's something you have found to be the most helpful or supportive for Jake?
[00:35:55] Speaker B: To front load him. And that was something that, that including kids, taught us as much as possible not to spring things on him, but to front load him. This is what is, is going to happen, or this is what we're going to do. And even now, I would say that's still the case, but as he got older, it was more of giving him choices. Not as much telling him this is what you're going to do, but saying, we're going to go in this direction. Would you like to do this or would you like to do that? And giving him time to think about it so that he could take ownership of his own decision and feel a part of the process.
I really feel like that is the best thing.
You can't always control that. Sometimes you've just got to make a spur of the moment decision and he adjusts. But really when you're saying provide the support, that's where I have found the changes that we made, those were probably the most impactful.
[00:36:53] Speaker D: Okay, Joe, totally agree on the front loading. Because, you know, looking back until we met with you and the school district and started working with this, if we'd known about this concept or thought about the concept, I think it would have helped a lot because he really did not respond well at first when Things were just kind of sprung on him. Growing up, nobody front loaded me. We never had to front load Lexi.
And this was before his diagnosis.
It never. Just never really crossed our minds to do something like this.
But once you explained to us what it was and how to do it, it was a night and day difference. Yeah, it gave him time to think about it. Even at a very young age. He was able to process it and kind of prepare for it and knew it was coming.
It was really when things were just sprung on him out of the blue for us, we knew it was coming.
We just thought he was going to be a normal kid and just go along for the ride, go with the flow. It's like, no, he needs to understand what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, and why.
And once we got into a process of doing that with him, it really did make a big difference.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: Well, I'm going to embarrass Jake just a little bit here. He's sitting in the room because one of the things he did very much in his episode is very much compliment you both about the amount of support that you have given and continue to give him.
And so it is very obvious sitting in this room that it is a wonderful family of support and synergies. Okay, one last question for you both. What's one piece of advice if you would give for a listener sitting here is a parent of a newly diagnosed child?
[00:38:36] Speaker D: Be patient both with your child and with yourself, because you're both on the learning curve at that point. You're both trying to figure this out together, and you're both fairly ignorant of what's going to happen and how it's going to look and how it's going to work out when it's all said and done. So be patient. Don't get frustrated with it. Don't get frustrated with your child. Don't get frustrated with yourself. Try different approaches, different ways to communicate. Eventually you're going to find that the right way to do it with that specific child. That was something I had to learn personally, was really being patient both with Jake and myself, because I would rack my brain thinking, I can't think of another way to do it, man. And of course, Corinne would help with that, too, because she was a little bit more on the outside looking in. She would say, well, why don't you try this? That would be my key piece of advice, is be patient both with your child and with yourself.
Get creative. Sit down and think about these things and what's the right approach for Your.
[00:39:40] Speaker A: Kids and for your. You and your child specifically. Right. It might not be what a textbook says or the latest.
[00:39:45] Speaker D: Right.
[00:39:46] Speaker A: You know, Google Chat says, but what's right for your family.
[00:39:50] Speaker B: All right, Corinne, connecting with others, building your support system, that was huge for us right off the bat between you and Kim Versatori, those at the school district that we knew, those outside of those circles, and I had a lot of friends that I was able to tell and who were there to support me as well. Building that network of support, I think is essential. Having those people, those professionals that we could talk to, I could. Kim was always checking up on me. How's Jake? How are you? How's Joe? You know, how's everybody holding up?
And then I could call you and say, I just don't even know what to do right here in this situation. And you would give us advice and be like, yes, how did I not see that? And then reaching out to just friends that I had that were there for me. And, you know, I could cry on their shoulder and say, I just need to cry. That's all I need to do is just really, I need a release. And, you know, they just hug me and say, we're here for you. We're praying for you. We're praying for Jake. We know God has this.
We needed all of that. And if you try to do it alone, it will just break you. You have to surround yourself with those that can support you, and there's so many different levels of that, from professional just down to personal, and you need all of that. That's what I would advise people.
[00:41:20] Speaker A: You're.
[00:41:20] Speaker B: You don't have to be on this journey alone, and. And you certainly don't want to. So be sure to set yourself up for success with having all of those around you that you can confide in.
[00:41:31] Speaker A: Very well said. Unfortunately, I do see too many families who either initially or over time, isolate, and then it does become very overwhelming for them and for that child. Right. So it does take effort to continue to build, create and build and, you know, feed that village to support you, because we all need it. As a parent of every age, child of every phase of life, we all need it. So I love that. I think that's a great place to end. Corinne, Joe and Jake, thank you so much for being here, especially you two being so flexible and spur the moment. I really appreciate. I know our listeners will very much appreciate your. Your vulnerability, as Jake had actually mentioned it, is about. The key to success is being vulnerable. So I think we are so appreciative of you being here.
[00:42:16] Speaker B: Absolutely. Thank you for inviting us.
[00:42:18] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:42:18] Speaker C: Planning for the future can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to do it alone. Join Inspire North D for the Lighting the Path for the Future conference, a roadmap for people with disabilities on February 25, 2026. From legal and financial planning to education, advocacy, skills for independence, and a powerful panel of neurodiverse voices, you'll gain real tools to plan with confidence. Join us at the Kevin Brady Community center from 9am to 3:30pm Tickets are $100 and must be purchased in advance. Ticket includes lunch and conference materials. Light the Path Forward Register today at www.inspirend.org.
[00:43:03] Speaker A: If you need help or resources. Whether you're a parent, someone on the spectrum, a business or a community organization who want to know more or need help or want to share resources, please reach out to
[email protected] thanks for joining us on Shining Inspiring Voices of Autism.
[00:43:22] Speaker B: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure.
[00:43:24] Speaker A: To follow us, leave a review and share it with others who want to celebrate neurodiversity. Until next time, keep Shining.
