[00:00:01] Madelynn: Welcome to Shining Through Inspired Voices of Autism with show host Jennifer Dantzler.
[00:00:09] Madelynn: My name is Madelyn and I have autism.
[00:00:12] Madelynn: Thank you for taking the time to learn more about the world of autism. If you enjoy what you hear today, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast.
[00:00:24] Jennifer Dantzler: Hey everyone, this is Jennifer Dantzler and I'm the executive director and founder of inspirend, a nonprofit whose mission is to create truly inclusive communities through education and engagement. The goal of this podcast is to shine a light on real people and their stories in hopes of inspiring others who are on this journey of autism. Either themselves, their child, their loved one, their co worker. I truly believe ignorance is not bliss and we cannot be inclusive communities if we do not understand the people in the community.
With autism now affecting 1 in 31 people, we need to get louder about this topic. We recognize that autism is a spectrum. There are a lot of people with a lot of different needs, a lot of resources available or none available. And we know that in every episode we can't meet everyone's needs for their specific interest.
However, we hope that in each episode you do gleam some kind of insight as to how you can help your child or yourself be a better advocate. And as we go through our podcasts, our goal really is to address the entire spectrum, the various needs, the various environments that we're going to be in. And we hope that there's something in every episode for each one of you. So let's get started today. I actually want to make a quick little special announcement before we get started because today's episode is a little different than usual. This episode of Shining Through Inspiring Voices of Autism includes a discussion about sexual assault involving a vulnerable individual. While this is an important conversation, some content may be sensitive or upsetting and may not be appropriate for young listeners. We do encourage parents and caregivers to use discretion when listening with children, but definitely find the time to listen because this is such an important topic. So today we welcome Courtney Bridges here. She is a mom and an advocate. She's the mother of an autistic daughter. She's a healthcare professional and disability and justice system advocate. After witnessing firsthand the barriers autistic victims can face within the system justice system, she became the founder and advocate behind Bea's Law, a Texas legislative initiative seeking to establish autism specific training across key areas of the judicial system. Her advocacy focuses on improving understanding of autistic communication, trauma responses, credibility bias and accommodation so autistic individuals are better understood and support interacting with the Justin system. So, Courtney, thank you so much for being here.
[00:02:41] Courtni Bridges: Oh, I'm so excited to be here.
[00:02:43] Jennifer Dantzler: I know this is really hard. And you know, I think parents of people with disabilities every day have decisions to make about do I do something that's in the best interest of my child or something that may be in the best interest for everyone and risk getting the benefit for just my child. You're trying to do both and I really, really commend you for that.
[00:03:01] Courtni Bridges: Yeah. You know, it's weird that you say it like that because I've had this revelation maybe that when I started this two and a half years, I think it was completely out of heartbreak, honestly, and trying to make sense out of something that didn't make sense and it wasn't going to make sense. But watching what my daughter did, you know, because at the end of the day, what people don't realize is when one we get into it is the trauma that came about with that it was life threatening. It really was. I almost lost my daughter and really lost parts of her for a few years.
I knew when it happened to my kid that, well, this has happened to other kids. And I just couldn't sit with, this is going to continue on if I don't get to the bottom of this. Why is this happening? And so I did a bunch of research and I just started diving in and I just could not stop. I poured all of my pain, all of my confusion, my grief, just any into that. Honestly, if you make a mom mad enough, she will be ballsy enough to go straight to that White House and knock on the front doors. Because, girl, I had plans. I was going to go to D.C. and get some answers. I mean, I just could not accept the fact that they had stated that, you know, her having autism was a barrier to her getting justice. It was like saying, well, since you're autistic, anything can happen to you.
[00:04:26] Jennifer Dantzler: So before we talk about Bees law, let's talk about your daughter. What do you want people to know about her beyond her autism diagnosis?
[00:04:32] Courtni Bridges: She's incredible. I'm her mom, so I'm obviously biased, but she really is. She's very creative, she's outspoken. She is a little advocate herself. She is an artist, an incredible artist with a photographic memory. And she has been since she was a child. She didn't start speaking till she was four, so she used art as an expression to speak. And it just has kind of stuck with her as a passion for years. With kids with autism, what you notice is like, they'll remember the rest of something that we all just didn't pay attention to. And I think that that's so special about being a parent to children with autism is we're allowed to see the world through their eyes, to kind of appreciate the world more honestly. The texture, the heaviness, the. The light. Just anything that has to do with the world, they appreciate it on a different level. So that is something that is about her. She loves big. Loves animals. Oh, my gosh. The amount of animals we have saved, years. We have had a squirrel girl. You name it, we've had it.
[00:05:35] Jennifer Dantzler: I love it.
[00:05:36] Courtni Bridges: But I think, like, the most important thing I want people to know is that she has a voice. You know, when this first happened, it made it seem like she didn't have a voice. And she very much has a voice. She has opinions. She has dreams. She knows what she feels and what she's experienced. I think her voice may not always look or sound the way people expect it to, but that doesn't make it any less valuable. Her voice matters, and that's really at the heart of why I'm fighting for this, is to give her her voice back.
[00:06:01] Jennifer Dantzler: So as her mom, as you're raising a d daughter with autism, what has it taught you about her and about yourself?
[00:06:07] Courtni Bridges: Just looking at the world in a different eye view. When she was little, we weren't sure it was autism. We didn't really know. She was an only child. We traveled a lot. They kept calling it a speech disorder. She also had a cleft palate, which can cause some speech issues. So we were like, maybe it's that you also get doctors that are like, oh, you're talking for her too much. She's not around, kid you. Every autism mom has heard every blame in the freaking.
I heard a lot of that, but I put her in speech therapy right away, and I noticed the parallel playing a lot when she was little. Like, okay, she's playing, but she doesn't care what anyone else is doing. And it was cute. When she was little, we would call her our Lisa Frank girl in her own little world, you know, because it was so colorful and bright, and she didn't care if anybody else was a part of it. And I love that. I love the originality of that. I love that she's so secure and being who she is, and she doesn't care if society accepts it or not. And we live in this influential world where everyone looks the same and they buy the same things, and it's just not like that with autism. So I love that she's taught me patience. She's just taught me to be a better person, to be honest. At the end of the day, autism makes life slow down a little bit. And you take a step back, you kind of realize what's important, who's important, just how valuable humanity really is. They're good from their core. I consider myself lucky that I get to experience that, because I'll talk to people who don't really understand autism or maybe they haven't had a child with autism or met one. You're just missing out on the. The innocence and the pureness that they have. So she's taught me so much. I'm still learning. She's a teenager now, so now she's teaching me boundaries and that she's allowed to have feelings.
[00:07:52] Jennifer Dantzler: So, yes, a lot of them. Right. At teenagers, when she was growing up, did you ever get moments where you thought about or sensed or realized she might be more vulnerable than the average person?
[00:08:04] Courtni Bridges: So with children with autism, a big thing with my child, any is she does not pay attention to her surroundings whatsoever. That is not looking both ways across the street, not paying attention to who's around her, believing things that are for face value. There's no gray. It's black and white. If you say, oh, look at that beautiful orange ball in the sky, we all know we're talking about the sun.
My daughter, where's that ball? Where'd that ball go? I'm gonna go find that ball. That communication difference of honestly just not being able to understand when they're being manipulated.
[00:08:43] Jennifer Dantzler: Right.
[00:08:43] Courtni Bridges: Truly.
[00:08:43] Jennifer Dantzler: Right.
[00:08:44] Courtni Bridges: Because there were so many times when she was growing up, even small, that I would watch her get bullied at school or at the park, and kids would be sarcastic and make fun of her, and it would just go straight, bless her heart, but it would go straight over her head. She wouldn't even know. It would break my heart. And I was thankful she didn't know. But, yeah, she was going to be vulnerable her entire life. I didn't learn about the other sides of vulnerability until all of this stu happened. And I wish that that was something that someone would have given me a heads up about.
[00:09:16] Jennifer Dantzler: Are there things now looking back to when she was younger that you wish you had taught her or someone had said to you, hey, teach her these skills, Even though she's 4 or 6 or 8, teach these skills just to help to start to reduce that vulnerability.
[00:09:30] Courtni Bridges: Looking back, because I work in OB gyn, right? So I had the binder that had the reproductive system. What to expect when you start your period, what to. I even had With a map of a stick figure body. I think we were in third or fourth grade and I had her take a dry erase marker and I wanted her to mark X's where it's not okay, where anybody can touch you. I wanted shoulders, I wanted thighs, I wanted hips, back of the neck. Things that we don't think about. We had the difficult talks. I was always taught in school that we don't call our private parts child names like cookie and pet names, because that puts them, especially someone who's autistic and takes things as black and white. You're putting them at a huge risk. You gotta stop calling your children's private parts pet names. They're not. Call it what it is. Really good point. That was another thing. At the end of the day, I don't know how to say this other than it's always someone you know, and it's usually a family member. So watch out for those family get togethers. Watch out for those summer parties. I honestly do not allow summer parties anymore. I don't trust them. I've been traumatized. You know, looking back, you wonder, like, what would I have done different to prevent this? And maybe there's nothing they could have done.
[00:10:49] Jennifer Dantzler: So let's get into that a little bit. I know B's law grew out of an incredibly difficult experience for your family. Without asking you to share anything that feels too personal, can you tell us what happened that made you realize there was a larger problem that needed to be addressed?
[00:11:02] Courtni Bridges: So our case should have been a pretty cut and dry case. We had the evidence.
The person who did it was well over three years of age. It was pretty cut and dry. She had a breakdown during her forensics interview. An autistic meltdown.
[00:11:16] Jennifer Dantzler: You knew that your daughter had been attacked in some form? I did. Okay.
[00:11:20] Courtni Bridges: She had come home and told us.
[00:11:22] Jennifer Dantzler: Okay.
[00:11:23] Courtni Bridges: I turned it into the police took her down to get a forensics interview, took her to the children's advocacy center where she started getting therapy. It was a nightmare at school. She was barricading herself in the room. She had severe ptsd. She was seeing the perpetrator in places they weren't. It was terrifying. So this investigation, I say loosely, goes on a year maybe, and I can never get a hold of the county attorney. Everyone in the office is completely rude. They just don't want to be bothered with me at all. I commend the officer that helped us. He actually went above and beyond to try to get this case prosecuted. And I don't want to give too much of his story, but he knew someone close to him that had autism. So it meant a little more to him, but that's why it meant more to him. But it still wasn't enough. The county attorney did not like that. She broke down during her forensics interview, and he wrote me a letter, letterhead. That first thing that stated was, your child has a disability, and I don't believe she'll be able to testify.
[00:12:25] Jennifer Dantzler: What?
[00:12:26] Courtni Bridges: What do you mean? So no accommodations were offered. I called back. I had extra evidence. I had text messages. I had it all ghosted. I wrote the county commissioner's office.
Ghosted. They started blocking my number, I think, from calling so much. So I had nothing left to do. I begged him, please. I wrote the judge, I wrote the sheriff. I begged with everyone. I went every way possible. I made a complaint to the oag. I mean, to disability, right? Everything. And they're just too protected. Nothing happened. So what I decided to do is I went on the news, if you're going to do this, then I'm going to bring the public into this. I need help. I didn't know what else to do, to be honest. And I had this really nice news reporter come to me, and I was really scared to do it because I was really emotional and just kind of angry. And he was like, no, I can write the story beautifully. I'll keep it fair, blah, blah, blah. I am going to give him a chance to talk. And that's what really bothered me, was this man didn't even have the audacity to call me back about my daughter's case. But he went on the news to make a public statement. All of that happened. And I thought, okay, nothing's going to happen with my daughter's case.
So how do we fix this? Like, where do we start? And I just did a bunch of research. I started looking into the Texas bills to see if there had been any proposed bills for autism training in the judicial system. Because at this point, I'm thinking, well, they failed her at the Children's Advocacy center because they didn't have someone to advocate for her in her forensics interview.
[00:13:54] Jennifer Dantzler: Do you think they didn't believe her?
[00:13:57] Courtni Bridges: I think that they used that forensics interview. However, she broke down. And I don't know because I haven't seen it, that changed the whole thing because she broke down in the corner and wouldn't make eye contact. They kept talking about that. I believe that. What I don't know, though, they've never told me they will never speak to me again. So I Don't know. And that was like from your first question when we had talked about. What I had meant to wrap it up with is sometimes I feel like I'm trying to save the world and I couldn't even save my own case. And so it's kind of like a, you know, maybe that's a sacrifice we have to do to change the world, is it takes it. And you know, luckily my daughter's old enough to appreciate that now. But I think that that is what it was, was there was the meltdown in the forensics interview and they didn't think that she could handle testifying. But that wasn't their choice to make, that was mine and that was hers.
[00:14:46] Jennifer Dantzler: Are you her guardian or were her. You her guardian at the time of the event?
[00:14:51] Courtni Bridges: Oh yeah, her mom. Yo.
[00:14:52] Jennifer Dantzler: Yeah. Because she hadn't turned 18 yet.
[00:14:54] Courtni Bridges: Oh yeah. She was 13.
[00:14:55] Jennifer Dantzler: Right. So you easily could have been the person to also testify on behalf. Oh yeah. I mean, legally.
[00:15:00] Courtni Bridges: I was begging for anything. This is a small west Texas town. They were maybe. I have no idea how many people are in this town. Not a lot. We don't live out that way. She was visiting with some other family and so I'll never know. And I'm not looking to know anymore because it's not important. It's not for the cause anymore. I'm angry, but I'm not as angry. Does that make sense?
[00:15:21] Jennifer Dantzler: Yes, you know, totally does. If there's someone else listening who is experiencing or God forbid, has experienced this in the past. Like what are some of the barriers?
Like talk first about the barriers to going to report the assault, being believed, navigating the system as before we get into what you're trying to do with Bea's law. Like what are some of the barriers?
[00:15:42] Courtni Bridges: One of the biggest barriers is that autism is a spectrum. And so you're going to have the high functioning end, you're going to have some of the low functioning in. You're going to have people that can speak. Great. You're going to have people that have to use a tablet to speak or they don't speak at all. So communication just looks different across the board. Things that people sometimes associate with whether someone is being truthful, full as eye contact, facial expressions, body language, the way someone tells a story. It just may look very different in an autistic person compared to a neurotypical person. Especially with avoiding eye contact. I've read many cases where that has been used against them. They may have a flat tone to their voice. The emotion may be Withdrawn to what they're actually saying, which may incriminalize them on the other side of things. Things. And then you add trauma on top of the autism, which then makes things even escalated, even to a. To a whole different world. Right. So then they're going to be scared, they're going to melt down, they're going to shut down. They're going to need someone in there that understands autism and can advocate for them. To be honest. I mean, we just have to. And that's where it is. Like with the barriers, the biggest barrier is communication. It's not like we don't have options for communication. We do. We've had lots of people work on it. So providing these and giving them the opportunity, first of all, because it doesn't matter if we have options or accommodations. If you're not even willing to give them an opportunity to testify, there's a whole different issue. That's why accommodations matter.
[00:17:15] Jennifer Dantzler: So let's get into that. Let's talk a little bit about what is Bes law. What are you trying to do with Bees law?
[00:17:20] Courtni Bridges: Mandating autism training throughout the Texas judicial system.
[00:17:24] Jennifer Dantzler: Okay.
[00:17:24] Courtni Bridges: Now, it started as one bill. Okay. What we realized when we started dabbling into it is it's probably gonna split into about three bills. One where we can cover the children's advocacy centers, and then you have your judges and prosecutors. That's a must. You're talking about how many people in the world are autistic. And then we have our county and district attorneys, the ones that are deciding whether a case is going to go through. They need to be trained in this, because if they were, maybe none of this would have happened.
[00:17:56] Jennifer Dantzler: Most of these people do not have any kind of training unless maybe they've experienced autism themselves. Right. With the child of their own.
[00:18:04] Courtni Bridges: No. No training whatsoever. Maybe Pennsylvania and Washington, where, like some parts in their court system is mandated in autism training. There is not one state that has it. It needs to be done. Just like this other bill with the autism training, with the police, both of them together. If we can get both of these bills passed together, that's a big move for Texas.
[00:18:24] Jennifer Dantzler: It is. It is.
[00:18:24] Courtni Bridges: In a very good way. Because I wouldn't have known about autism if I didn't have a child with autism. I'll be honest, I didn't know. No one taught me. We don't learn about this in school. And if you're not affected by someone who has it, no one's really speaking about it. There's still a taboo about speaking about it.
[00:18:39] Jennifer Dantzler: Three Degrees from autism. There's the six degrees or seven degrees from bacon. You can't get more than three degrees from autism. Someone who's directly affected may be a grandparent or best friend outside of that. Yet you go to these galas for homeless children, and people are raising their paddles for tons of money and advocacy, and they maybe never met someone who's homeless or homeless themselves, but they somehow get it. But they don't get autism.
[00:19:04] Courtni Bridges: No. How many times do we hear, but they don't look autistic.
[00:19:07] Jennifer Dantzler: Yeah.
[00:19:07] Courtni Bridges: Or they just don't even know what autism is. Once you know what autism is, you look back and you're like, oh, well, this person, this person, this person. And if it's in your family, like mine, my whole family went and got tested and about half of them had it, so. Right.
[00:19:22] Jennifer Dantzler: Yeah. Your daughter's verbal, right?
[00:19:24] Courtni Bridges: Yeah, she's verbal. She's high functioning.
[00:19:25] Jennifer Dantzler: Right. Which is sometimes the hardest place to be.
[00:19:28] Courtni Bridges: I think she's more aware of it. She said something funny the other day. She said, mom, did you know, apparently it's cool to be autistic now. It's like a trend. And I said, is it? And I said, that's awesome. And she goes, no, it's not. It's very confusing for someone like me who's been bullied by it for their whole life. Wow, that's very profound. We're making a change. And she said, yeah, everyone's talking about mental health these days. And I was like, well, that's. That's good.
[00:19:52] Jennifer Dantzler: Wow. We might need to try to get her on the podcast.
[00:19:54] Courtni Bridges: And, girl, I'm telling you, I told her, you know, when I first did this, she was only 13, and I didn't know if I was going to go public with it because it was so vulnerable. But I asked her, like, do you give me permission to do this? This is going to be your story, your law. And I've done my best to keep her identity protected as best as I can during this. But one day, if she's old enough and she wants to advocate for this stuff, she can take over and lead the way. She can be a voice on her own. She's still dealing with therapy programs and hospital programs. We're in it two and a half years later, and the trauma is very much still here, but it's kind of given her a passion to maybe become a counselor one day and help people like her. She's done a lot of advocacy for sexual assault awareness for Denton County Friends of the Family. She'll Go and do certain things with them. She does a lot of artwork for it.
[00:20:47] Jennifer Dantzler: So have you testified yet in front of anyone? Will she be willing to testify, you think?
[00:20:52] Courtni Bridges: I think she would, yeah. I would be worried and willing to see what she said and how she said it. But, yeah, I think she would. I mean, she's angry. She's healed. She's done so much therapy that she's able to process it in a. I'm not angry. And it's kind of like I'm a human being and I have rights, and that wasn't okay. And how dare you? You know? And it almost cost me my life
[00:21:14] Jennifer Dantzler: doing some testifying myself. I think that would be extremely powerful if she was willing to do it, because they really want to hear the real stories. You definitely need to bring some stats on the number of women that are sexually assaulted, because I remember I was looking at your things.
[00:21:28] Courtni Bridges: It's nine out of ten autistic girls.
[00:21:29] Jennifer Dantzler: Nine out of ten autistic women will get sexually assaulted. So also, listeners, if you're listening and you have a daughter with autism or you are a self advocate with autism, training, right? Training, Training, training, education about how to protect yourself, things that could put you in danger. Becoming more aware, recognizing that you might not be reading the social cues correctly. So don't try to minimize being put in those vulnerable situations because you might not be reading it. Seeing the signs ahead of time of what might be coming.
[00:21:59] Courtni Bridges: 90%, y'.
[00:22:01] Jennifer Dantzler: All.
[00:22:01] Courtni Bridges: I worked at an OB GYN office for years. We would have women come in and put their autistic daughters on birth control, not because they were sexually active, but because they were scared they were gonna be assaulted. And we see it often. And that's so sa.
[00:22:16] Jennifer Dantzler: And I know it's a really hard topic, but it's a topic that just needs to be talked about.
[00:22:20] Courtni Bridges: I mean, 90%, how can we not talk about it?
[00:22:22] Jennifer Dantzler: Right?
[00:22:23] Courtni Bridges: It's happening. There's no denying that it's not happening. It goes to show that there's been a lot swept under the rug. The rug's out. We're sweeping it out.
[00:22:31] Jennifer Dantzler: The rug is gone.
[00:22:32] Courtni Bridges: That rug is gone. We are sweeping it away, and we're going to bring some awareness so that this will stop happening.
[00:22:39] Jennifer Dantzler: So what do you want law enforcement and medical professionals and educators, any of those who may encounter someone who is a sexual assault survivor with autism, to understand about communicating with and supporting that individual? What do you want people to know?
[00:22:52] Courtni Bridges: Give them a little bit of space. Autistic people do not like to be Touched. They do not like to be restricted. I know that they will sometimes self harm, maybe hit themselves in a panic. Pace back and forth, rock back and forth. There's so many different things. And I'm thinking, like with my daughter in ways that manifest when she. She's really going through something. But honestly, I watched a video the other day.
[00:23:17] Jennifer Dantzler: There was a.
[00:23:18] Courtni Bridges: An autistic male. He was having a meltdown. He was hurting his mom on the way home. Very severely. Autistic, this state. These police officers showed up with these stem bags, okay. And it had fidget toys in it. And they were able to calm him down, bring him safe, talk to him. You could tell they had done the training. They were. I mean, the lady was even like, oh, I keep six of these bags in my car. We need that in Texas. We need a better understanding. The more you learn about it, the more you're going to be able to respond in a better way. You know, they're not going to make eye contact with you. Don't take it personal. It's not disrespectful. They feel uncomfortable. If you don't get the interview right away, go do it somewhere comfortable like their house or with their parent or maybe if their parent can't be there, Give them something that's personal and feels good to them, like something that. That's safe. Give them some platform to tell their story where you're actually getting it, because you're not going to get it if you're coming at them and they're feeling attacked. And most autistic people do feel attacked. They live in a world that wasn't built for them. We're talking about a system that didn't have them in mind when we built
[00:24:28] Jennifer Dantzler: it for World Autism Day. That's what we did down here in the Houston areas. We gave out sensory bags to all first responders who were willing to take them so they can have them on their fire truck trucks and in their police cars. And we've gotten some.
[00:24:40] Courtni Bridges: And they were probably really happy to take them. Yes, yes, yes.
[00:24:43] Jennifer Dantzler: So simple. And it's so simple.
[00:24:45] Courtni Bridges: Yeah. And, you know, there's not really any pushback. Like police and firemen that I talk to. They're all about helping. They see it in public a lot often or more, you know, on calls. And so they enjoy the help. They want the help. I hope, like I said, we can get this bill passed. But the judges in. In them, I don't know, they have so much training on other stuff. It's going to be a little Bit of a pushback, but I'm hoping that we can still get this pushed through this season.
[00:25:09] Jennifer Dantzler: One more quick question from the parent's perspective. So for the parent who might be listening and thinking, I need to have some of these conversations with my child, where would you encourage them to begin? And how do you hope these laws will change some of these things? But where should these parents begin?
[00:25:25] Courtni Bridges: Keep that door open. Don't make anything weird. We're talking periods, blood, sexual activity, crush it.
Talk about them. As soon as they're hitting puberty, which is third or fourth grade, you're having a crush. How are you feeling? You know, ask them. I, I point blank would ask them when they're of that age. I want to make sure I would do the activity that I did. Do you know where no one's allowed to touch you on your body? I really, I don't remember where I got that. It was from some type of autism resource. But it was wonderful. I, I made my stepdaughters do it as well. Like, where do you not touch? Touch?
[00:26:00] Jennifer Dantzler: Right.
[00:26:00] Courtni Bridges: I would have that conversation and then I would check in on them. If you notice something's going on with their mood, if you notice something's a little off. My biggest thing, if you are going to do social media, get the app bark. It's B A R K.
I promise you it will save your life. It will save so much time, effort, stress. I love this app.
[00:26:25] Jennifer Dantzler: It's it.
[00:26:26] Courtni Bridges: You can pretty much just. You monitor everything that they're on, but you give them a little bit of freedom where there's certain words and however sensitive you want it, that if there's depression, bullying, sexual activity, anything, it screenshots it and it sends it to your phone and then it suggests a topic of how you can communicate with your child respectfully. On. Hey, I noticed this is going on. Like, can you tell me about it? It so you're not feeling like you're crossing their boundaries too? That has been game changing for me with a teenager now. I ask my daughter all the time, are we being sexually active? If you are, that's fine. Just can you let me know so we can do it in a safe way. Can we kind of talk about that and like, are we ready for all of that? I just want you to be open with me. I mean, that's the type of mom I am. I'm very blunt. I'm very open. I'm not naive. These kids, they have been exposed to a really different world than we grew up in.
[00:27:21] Jennifer Dantzler: Right.
[00:27:21] Courtni Bridges: And you Know what I'm saying with that? They've been exposed to too much on the Internet.
[00:27:25] Jennifer Dantzler: Yeah.
[00:27:26] Courtni Bridges: And they've been exposed too much at school by other kids that have been on the Internet. So they will find out. It does not matter how much you try to protect them from the idea that they're not going to find out about the real world. But it is the truth. But with how bad, like kidnapping and sex trafficking and these Amber Alerts are always going on and having a vulnerable daughter.
[00:27:47] Jennifer Dantzler: Water.
[00:27:47] Courtni Bridges: We have to pay attention more. We really do. I track my kid on everything. She's got a little. The apple air tag on everything. And it helps. But the bark has really helped. And just having the hard conversations because if they feel like they can't come to you or you're gonna get angry, you're not gonna get through.
[00:28:04] Jennifer Dantzler: Another resource out there is something called the CIRCLES curriculum. And again, you can just get it off of Amazon, but it's another one, too, where it talks about who's in which circle.
And, you know, and so in your inner circle, like your purple circle, they might see your body naked, and that might be, you know, that's the doctor and mom and dad. Right. And.
[00:28:23] Courtni Bridges: Yeah.
[00:28:23] Jennifer Dantzler: But then in your next circle, all you're doing is giving high fives. You're not giving hugs or kisses. Right. And it's a very also concrete curriculum to help teach some of those barriers and those boundaries. And there's several different types out there. But that's great. Thank you for sharing about bark also. So let's talk a little bit more about bee's laws from the standpoint of what can we do as a community to assist you? It is. You do have a couple legislative people that are trying to chair this or bandwagon this. Is that correct?
[00:28:54] Courtni Bridges: Yes, I have. Gosh, I have reached out to so many people. The most that I work with is the Texas Autism Society. Jackie, from her, she is just. She's. She's my fairy godmother. Love her to death. She has been with me from the beginning. And then we've got a senator on board. I don't really want to drop his name yet because I want that to be something he can do. I don't know the boundaries there. I had a House rep, wasn't my favorite type of person. So I'm going to let the senator choose that. We have lots of organizations activating change. Tasa, you know, Texas Against Sexual Assault Association. We have the ARC of the United States.
We have Disability Rights of Texas is actually the organization what's funny, I reached out to them for help, but then I just mentioned Bes law. Kind of like, can you help me? Also, I'm doing this thing, if you're interested. They wrote back, said they couldn't help me, but they would write the language on the law.
[00:29:47] Jennifer Dantzler: Oh, good. So, okay.
[00:29:48] Courtni Bridges: They have been writing the language, which was really great, because who else is better to do that? Right now I have a petition going, so if people want to sign that, you do not have to donate. Honestly, I think the donations, they definitely don't go to me. I think it's just to get more views. A simple signature comment, whatever you want to do to bring some attention to. That's what people want is. Is getting the word out. Like, I wouldn't mind, honestly, having people that have similar. Similar stories to mine reach out. Because I plan on going to the Capitol in March on Advocacy Day, Autism Advocacy Day. And I'm gonna have to tell my story. If there's ever an opportunity where there's other families that have been affected by this or they want me to share something, like, I'm open to that. Like, I open my doors to anyone who's been affected by the same things that we were affected. And it's such a lonely place to be. But you're not alone.
We've all been through it. We survived it, though, and we really can make a difference together. We just have to come together.
[00:30:48] Jennifer Dantzler: Okay, so where can people find the petition? Is that online somewhere?
[00:30:51] Courtni Bridges: Yes, it's on change.org and we will
[00:30:54] Jennifer Dantzler: definitely post the link to that in the show notes. And then also with that said, or I asked my last question then. Where do you want people to reach out to you if they have stories to share or want to support?
[00:31:05] Courtni Bridges: I actually have a Facebook book called B's Law, and it's B E E apostrophe S Law. Okay. The artwork on it is black and white, so you'll know it's me. It'll have my news stories. It'll say my name. Not busy right now because I haven't been. I've been keeping the updates on the low down because I don't want to jinx anything. But once these updates start pushing through and things are hitting the table, that's where you're gonna get more updates. And I have a messaging system on there that if they want to share their story, reach out out to me. I would love to hear about it.
[00:31:39] Jennifer Dantzler: Okay, that's wonderful. So the point of BE's law is to try to get all of the people trained in our judiciary system, you're recommending that that be independent private experts, if you will. Right. To come in and do this training. Not that they do some internal. Oh, I think I know a little bit. Let me train the other people.
[00:31:55] Courtni Bridges: They need good.
[00:31:56] Jennifer Dantzler: I mean, in the law is written some good. Legitimate. This is what we need training wise. And these are the components, right?
[00:32:01] Courtni Bridges: Oh, yes. There's no way that I spent two and a half years to do something half.
[00:32:05] Jennifer Dantzler: But that's right. There you go. I'm. I'm very excited for this. I do think we have some resources too as inspire nd that we can help move this along as well. After everything your family has experienced, what gives you hope, like what is a truly safer, more inclusive world look like for you and your daughter?
[00:32:23] Courtni Bridges: Understanding, empathy, success stories. I love reading a good success story. We're a solid team and we've done a lot of therapy to kind of get through this and we're pretty positive people on and hindsight to everything. Talking to you, for instance, I would have never thought I would be in a room talking to somebody like you. But like we care about the same things and we're here and I really think that that's what it takes to change the world. Speaking up when there is injustice. It's important. We don't have to accept this and we won't. So I'm gonna keep fighting the good fight and I'm hopeful for next year. I'm really excited. And my daughter, she's doing a lot better. She's really thriving. It's been a good fall season this year. We're really excited about this legislation.
[00:33:07] Jennifer Dantzler: So. Well, Courtney Bridges, we are so, so grateful that you're here and so grateful. Been willing to not only share your story on our podcast, but also just that you are taking the time to say, this can't be just my daughter like there. We really have to systemically change the system to support our individuals with autism. Right. Currently, autism is 1 in 31. And to your astounding stat. Right. 9 out of 10 autistic women get sexually assaulted, you know, at some point in their lives.
[00:33:32] Courtni Bridges: Yeah.
[00:33:33] Jennifer Dantzler: We can't look away. We can't. We have to. We have to fix this. And if they're going to get it, that's the problem in itself. Right. Getting assaulted. And then the next. The other one, which is what you're trying to address is, well, what do we do to help them when that has happened and how can we make this as minimally traumatizing as possible and so that they can be heard and so that also these assaulters can get stopped and not off on a technical.
[00:33:57] Courtni Bridges: And you know, girl, it doesn't stop after here because then I'm coming right back around and we're going to have harder punishments for the ones that are assaulting the kids. I've got big plans for the rest of my life.
[00:34:07] Jennifer Dantzler: I meant that, Courtney.
[00:34:08] Courtni Bridges: Keep going.
[00:34:09] Jennifer Dantzler: You are a godsend to this field and we are so grateful that you are here and we're so grateful that you took the time to be on this podcast. And I have a feeling this won't be the last time we'll be back. We're going to be talking. We're going to help be a voice for you. So thank you so much. If you need help or resources, whether you're a parent, someone on the spectrum, a business or a community organization who want to know more or need help or want to share resources, please reach out to
[email protected] thanks for joining us
[00:34:38] Courtni Bridges: on Channing through inspired Voices of Autism. If you joined this episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share with us. Honors who want to celebrate New York diversity.
[00:34:52] Jennifer Dantzler: Until next time, keep shining.
